Music Rules!

Here at The Black Jacket Symphony headquarters, we have some rules.  Some you may be aware of when you see a performance.  The assembled band always wears black with a black jacket.  There is no talking between the songs on the performance of the album being played (just like you were listening to it on vinyl) and other obvious rules.

But there are more general music rules as well.  For everybody.

We thought we would share just a few….

Rule # 27:  No matter where you are in the car, the most remote out-of-the-way no city or town around anywhere…you will be able to pick up one Country radio station.

Rule # 48:  You can listen to Celine Dion, but all studies show doing so will eventually make you hostile.

Rule # 3:  There is a real and probable possibility that Keith Richards cannot die.

Rule # 132:  A drum solo is like a sneeze.  You know it’s going to happen, but there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

Rule # 19: Don Henley is unable to smile

Rule # 26:  Every human is uncomfortable with the correct pronunciation of “pianist”.

Rule # 97:  Mariah Carey can sing 5 notes higher than what is on a piano.  But nobody cares.

Rule # 129:  Not ALL disco “sucked”.  But it was fun to say.

Rule # 232:  Linda Ronstadt is not in the rock and roll hall of fame.  She should be, but now it’s  too late for her to sleep with the right people.

Rule # 123:  David Crosby and Wilford Brimley will never be seen at the same time

Rule # 133:  Statistics show that there is only one thing more boring than a drum solo.  A bass solo.

Rule # 38:  Shows like “American Idol”, “The voice” and all the rest are bad for you  and can lead to an extremely distorted idea of what “talent” is.

Rule # 76:  The coolest brand of guitar made is the Rickenbacker.  Period.

Rule # 186:  Getting a tattoo is like sewing platform shoes to your feet.  But go ahead.

Rule # 72:  Robert Plant is the only male that can “prance” and get away with it.

Rule # 17:  Headbands will never come back in style as a “rock and roll” fashion statement.

Rule # 152:  If you are in a band with him, Glenn Frey will eventually want to kick your ass.

Rule # 43:  You should never name your band after a song

Rule #44:  You should never name a song after your band

Rule # 32:  Never start a trio with a married couple.

Advertisements

7 responses

  1. #317: If you’re in a band, at some point someone will say “I’m going to take my PA and go home!”

    #11: The lead guitarist will always play louder than anyone on stage. And will be unable to hear that he is doing so.

    November 29, 2012 at 10:21 pm

  2. JOHN MANN

    Re: #72-Prince can prance. And Mick COULD prance if his back doesn’t go out.

    November 29, 2012 at 10:23 pm

  3. JOHN MANN

    Rule #68 (not as important as #69) – The guitarist will always ask the sound man if he is playing loud enough.
    Rule #70 – When the sound man says “YES, PLENTY LOUD” the guitarist will turn his amp louder.

    November 29, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    • Timothy

      Rule # 2. All applause will be held until the end of B. J. S. first set so you may experience the effect of listening to album.

      November 29, 2012 at 11:45 pm

      • Timothy

        Rule # 99. When or if a performer ask for a request, you should never yell out “Free Bird”.

        November 29, 2012 at 11:50 pm

  4. Actually, rule # 99 states it IS permissible for a crowd member to yell out “Free Bird”, but it is also permissible in a court of law for the rest of the crowd AND said band playing to beat him unmercifully.

    November 30, 2012 at 8:07 pm

  5. Pam Perry

    Mick can def prance and get away w/ it. I’ve seen it live. Of course he was in his 30’s, but I have a suspicion, it would still work. lol

    December 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s