More Music Rules….
We had such a response to our “music rules” last week that we here at BJS headquarters decided to throw a few more in for the musician and non musicians enjoyment and understanding of the music world.
Rule # 6: There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your musical talent. That time is age 11.
Rule # 146: There is a very fine line between “arranging” and “mental illness.”
Rule # 22: If you are you are a young guitar player and are very good, you play too many notes.
Rule # 489: The Liverpool/ British accent is the coolest of all accents in the English language. But faking ANY British accent onstage or backstage is very uncool.
Rule # 367: The “guitar face” is not made to equate how hard a guitar lick is, but rather how hard the guitar player wants you to THINK it is.
Rule # 127: Pianists have a special love-hate relationship with singers. If a singer talks to a piano player during a break, the piano player will condescend to the singer.
Rule # 410: If you start a joke with “two guitar players walk by a bar…” it is automatically not going to be funny because it is impossible.
Rule # 201: Drummers are highly excitable. When excited, they play louder. If you decide to talk to the drummer during a break, always be careful not to sneak up on him.
Rule # 7: Never recommend anyone for a gig who plays better than you.
Rule # 52: It’s okay if you are just talking about “Shaft”.
Rule # 306: Musicians always degrade types of music they can’t play or know nothing about.
Rule # 111: Michael Bolton speaks the way he sings, which makes his speaking voice uncannily similar to Yosemite Sam.
Rule # 420: The decreased use of marijuana among baby boomers directly coincides with the decreased ability to buy vinyl albums. Not for the listening experience, but for size of the album cover vs. the size of a CD.
Rule # 246: There is nobody in the known universe that actually knows how to “Wang Chung”.
Rule # 471: It is legal in 43 states to beat Kenny G if you use his own soprano saxophone.
Rule # 5: It’s rock AND roll. Too may people forget about the roll.
Rule # 223: As much as people think Led Zeppelin was the heaviest band in rock music, the actual heaviest was Bachman Turner Overdrive who averaged 253 lbs per member.
Rule # 364: You can be thrown out of almost every guitar store in America for playing even the opening bars of “Stairway to Heaven.
Rule # 119: Two Drummers? Okay. Two Guitar players? Definitely okay. Two keyboard players? Just fine. Two bass players? Never okay.
Rule # 19: Elvis has left the building. Really.